Mood:
cheekyTopic: Funny Stuff
You are against the War on Terror, but are only too happy to make millions of dollars by making movies about it. You preach about the evils of Capitalism from the comfort of your Beverly Hills estate. You scream and shout when innocent civilians are accidentally caught in the cross-fire, but remain silent when terrorists kill them on purpose. You think OJ Simpson is really looking for the "real killers." You think trees are precious and are worth saving, but innocent un-born children are not. You think America deserved 9/11. You think you can give a dollar to somebody, without first having to take it from somebody else. You want to ban and outlaw legal gun ownership, yet the same time, you want to be allowed to have armed guards at your beck-and-call. You think Ted Kennedy knows how to manage your money, better than you do. You think Saddam, Kim Jong Il, and Castro were fairly elected, but President Bush was not. You fail to see the connection between Lenin and Lennon. You think "tolerance" is reserved for those who share your opinions, views, and ideals. You think the name of God/Jesus should be banned and censored, except when spoken in profanity. You think it was wrong for Bush to use images of 9/11 in political ads, but saw nothing wrong with Kerry using flag-draped caskets in his ads. You refuse to allow a child to carry a Bible to school, but demand that schools make special provisions to accommodate a non-Christian's religious beliefs. You whine about religious leaders involvment in politics, but only when the Reverend's name is Robertson...not Jackson or Sharpton. You support radical Judges who interpret what they "think" the Constitution means, instead of what it actually says. You think the meaning and definition of the Constitution should change, based on your own feelings or opinions. You constantly cry about defense spending, but scream when bases in your areas are closed. You think Greenpeace and the Earth Liberation Front burning down SUV dealerships or torching chemical plants "help" the enviroment. You support low-income housing, until they start to build in your neighborhood. You think the term "illegal alien" is a bad word. You think Michael Moore's films are "historically accurate." You believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding. You believe that there was no art before Federal funding. You think the only thing wrong with the forged Rather Memo, was people refused to believe it. You think girls should be allowed to go to an all-boy school, but not the other way around. You support welfare for illegal immigrants who don't pay taxes, anyway. You think Fox News distorts the truth, but Dan Rather reports "honest journalism". You complain that we never give peace a chance. When asked about your favorite Marx Brother, the first one to come to mind is Karl. You think NPR is the only really fair and balanced news source. You think race riots are acceptable. You think racial hatred is wrong, but "class hatred" is acceptable. You think that every misbehaving child has ADD and needs to be doped-up on Ritalin. You think lawsuits that deny any personal responsibility on the part of the plantiff is justified. You think the best way to deal with terrorist regimes is to please and appease them. You are opposed to a military presence in Europe, unless it's to bail out France. You would rather defend Marx, Lenin, Stalin, Saddam and Castro before you defend the US. You think violent gun-crime would automatically disappear if honest citizens could not bear arms. You constantly equate Conservatives to the likes of Hilter as your only defense. You believe 1 + 1 = 2, or 3, or 4...or whatever it takes to protect the child's self-esteem. You think that porn should be federally protected per Freedom of Speech, but public profession of Faith should be outlawed. You applaud Jimmy Carter for talking about Human Rights, but screamed and shouted when President Bush actually did something about it. You think we should have given Saddam 12 more years, and then 12 more on top of that, if he didn't comply by then. You think the UN should be the final authority, even in the U.S. You think if a person makes more than $50,000/year, then he/she is cheating people and ripping them off. You think being able to play the President on a popular TV drama automatically equates to "political wisdom" in real life. You scream and shout about Christians ramming their beliefs upon you, but you say nothing when Athiests do the same. You think it was "un-ethical" for Bush to accept campaign donations from the NRA, but not when Clinton accepted campaign donations on behaf of the Communist Chinese government. You think if somebody disagrees w/what is being said, they are challenging or denying your rights to Free Speech. You think that poverty is caused by the wealthy. You think the ACLU really gives a damn about individual rights. You think the Dixie Chicks and Tim Robbins should say what they want, but O'reilly, Hannity, and Limbaugh should be censored. You protested American intervention in the Middle-East, because we did not have UN approval, but supported American intervention in Haiti, Somalia, and Bosnia, even though we did not have UN approval. You screamed and shouted when Ah-Nold allegedly groped women, but cheered when Bill Clinton did the same. You are against sexual harrasment except when committed by a Kennedy or a Clinton. You object to little old ladies wearing fur, but not bikers wearing leather. You believe President Bush is too dumb to be President and Arnold Schwarzenegger is too dumb to be Governor of California, but the Dixie Chicks, Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, Barbra Streisand, Eddie Vedder and Jeanine Garofalo are qualified to discourse at length on foreign policy. You think Saddam had WMDs when Clinton was in office, but all of the sudden, didn't have them when Bush was in office. You think the Middle East crisis can only be solved once Israel is wiped off the map. You believe the Bible is racist, sexist, and homophobic, but think the Koran should be required reading. You consider the Catholic bishops noble and idealistic when they oppose capital punishment and welfare cuts but dangerous fanatics when trying to promote pro-life. You think a lawyer taking 33% from a settlement for his services is fair, but the Government taking 33% of your paycheck for taxes is "too low". You find Christianity and anything relating to it potentially harmful to you and your children, but you're completely open-minded to Witchcraft, occult-ism, mysticism, ect. You think having an open-mind means being "pro-Gay", "pro-Abortion", "anti-Christian", "anti-Business", and "anti-Conservative". You think only white people can be racist. You think that tax cuts hurt poor people and are uncompassionate but taking 30% from their paychecks is compassionate. You believe that posting the "Ten Commandments" in schools will hurt the children, but promoting homosexuality and paganism "helps" the children. You think the answer to ANY crime no matter how henious or serious, is counseling. You only watch "All in The Family", because Meathead made so much sense. You think Rush Limbaugh and Michael Reagan are mean spirited racists and promote hate crime but Maxine Waters, John Conyers and Louis Farakahn aren't and don't. You think that Doctors should be made into government bureaucrats, but that lawyers should not. You think O.J. is actually innocent, but that Bernard Goetz is not. You would have supported the war in Iraq, if Clinton or Gore was President. You are against censorship unless it's censoring race, Christianity, Conservatism, Western culture, Rush Limbaugh, or Ann Coulter. You make snide remarks about guys who look at women, but champion Clinton's right to do whatever he wants with his interns. You think that the four cops who beat Rodney King should have been thrown in jail forever, but the four thugs who beat Reginald Denny should get just a slap on the wrist. You get mad when rape victims' sexual history is plastered all over the news media, but demand Paula Jones' sexual history "must be made public". You hear a news report of a man beat nearly to death because he is a minority or gay and you rally about punishing the bigot who committed the terrible act BUT, if you hear a news report of a man beat nearly to death for his money, and you start talking about the poor disadvantaged person who is forced to commit such acts to survive. You think that pouring blood on a $1,500 fur coat is a sure-fire way to get your message across, but if anyone protests outside an abortion clinic, they're the extremists! You think that the only way the tragedy at Columbine could have been avoided was to outlaw legal, private gun ownership. You think hunters don't care about the enviroment, but wacky Seattle folks who have never stepped foot outside of their local Starbucks, do. You think it takes a village, instead of parents, to raise a child. You think tolerance of your opinions and acceptance of your opinions go hand-in-hand. You believe that doctors are over-paid, but ambulance-chasing lawyers are not. You think that Celebrities and other media icons have the right to Free Speech and those who agree with them have the right to Freedom of Speech, but those who dare to disagree with them do not. You slam Ah-Nold for his father having alleged ties to the Nazi when you have a known and un-apologetic Klansman and public anti-Semite in your own company (Sen. Byrd) You think Ah-Nold should not be in politics because he's "just a celebrity", but you would have endorsed Martin Sheen, Sean Penn and company based on that sole criteria. You scream and shout over alleged "violence" in Mel Gibson's "The Passion", yet you ran to see "Kill Bill", "Freddy VS. Jason" , "The Texas Chainsaw Massacure" and play "Unreal" and "Duke Nuke'em", "Grand Theft Auto", ect. and said nothing about the violence portrayed in those. You think Hollywood can say or do no wrong and should be treated as such. You think a child who is quietly and privately saying Grace before a meal at school, constitue the said child ramming his/her beliefs upon others. You turn a blind eye to the suicide bombings at the hands of radical fanatics, but condemn Israel and the Western World for wanting to keep their people safe from Terrorism. You think if Sean Penn or Martin Sheen said so, it should be revered as holy scripture. You cheered and applauded when Clinton stated he "smoked pot but never inhaled" and at the same time, screamed and shouted when Rush Limbaugh admitted to being addicted to LEGALLY OBTAINED MEDICATION. You think Freedom of Speech is reserved for those who think as you do, but not for anybody else. You ban the Bible in schools because of Church/State, then welcome Islamic and New-Age, and other religion teachings in the same school. You think every problem can be solved by simply throwing money at it. You think more taxes are an ecomomic cure-all. When a violent crime is comitted with a gun, you think it's the gun itself, and not the offender, who is responsible. You blame the NRA, and not the criminals, for violent crime with guns. You think Freedom of Speech and agreeing with what is being said go hand-in-hand. You think everything wrong in the world is automatically Bush's fault and everything right in the world is automatically because of Clinton. You feel people should "share the wealth" (as long as your money is not the one being "shared") You think that being a Hollywood icon automatically means you are more "in tune" to world events than the leaders of the country. You complain about the SUVs and other less-econmical cars, yet you parade around in a 5-mile-per-gallon limo. You think that you can understand politics from Hollywood and activist celebrities without doing any research yourself. You ban Tom Sawyer from schools for being "racist" but you approve of My Two Moms as wholesome and acceptable. You think every solution to every problem can be solved with bigger Government. You think people should be rewarded for laziness, but hard-working people should be taxed dry. You frown upon self-thought and independent thought. You think convicted criminals and democratic politicians who screw up are worth understanding and forgiving but conservative politicians and religious people who speak their opinion should be banned from public service. You think that tolerance equals acceptance and anyone who doesn't accept a liberal cause is a racist or bigot. You throw down the "race card" as your only argument. You think terrorists and arsonists who burn down private property and harass businesses are noble but the troops who liberated Iraqis are war criminals. You think that violent protests and domestic terrorism are how you affect change in our country instead of voting. You believe people are owed restitution for injuries inflicted on their long-dead ancestors. You find charisma to be an appropriate replacement for honesty. You find flashy rhetoric to be a suitable substitute for sincerity. You don't believe willful omissions of facts should be considered lying. You have a problem with the mention of God in the Pledge of Allegiance, but have no qualms about it being printed on your wonderful money. You simultaneously piss on our country and its system while reaping its rewards. You refuse to acknowledge any contributions to society that were not made by minorities. You continue to trash America, claiming how horrible and evil it is, yet you refuse to leave. You think Yassar Arrafat was deserving of the Nobel Peace Prize. You think guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of a hate filled dictator. You believe that people should not have to be expected to take responsibility for their actions. Mothers who are drug addicts should be allowed to have children and to raise them while they're addicted. Capitalism oppresses people and Socialism liberates people. You think the Governnment should provide "entitlement" programs, rather than expect us to earn what we have. You refuse to lift a finger to save an unborn baby but at the same time, rush to the aid and defense of violent serial-felons on death row. You think teachers should not use the class-room to promote politics, unless the teacher is promoting anti-Conservative agendas, then it becomes a matter of "Free Speech". You try to make excuses on behalf of terrorism. You believe in choice except when it comes to retirement, schools, health care, and religious speech. You think Clinton was an "honest and virtuous man". You believe that unwed teenage mothers should get a paycheck from the Government. You ignore more than 50 years of medical warnings about tobacco use, but when you get cancer, the tobacco company is to blame. You think society "owes you a living". You somehow believe that George Bush is more dangerous than Bin Laden, Saddam, Hitler, ect. You believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House. You believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex. You believe that hetrosexuality is a learned behavior, but homosexuality is normal and natural. You somehow think that a President who lied under oath, compromised with fanatical dicators, and gave military technology to hostile regimes is somehow better for America than the present Administration. You believe that 9/11 was an "Israeli conspiracy" and could never have been carried out by Bin Laden or his croonies. You want to legalize drugs but outlaw tobacco. You want what you feel "you deserve", instead of what you earn. You think it's OK to be dis-honest, if personal gain is at stake. You can exaggerate the facts and make up fiction to prove your point. You spew out your rhetoric, but have nothing to back it up. You think that "truth" is irrelevant. You think the Corporations are evil, but Communism and dictatorships are "noble". You think the UN is an efficient governmental body. You like to say that you fight discrimination, then you turn around and give "perks" simply based on race. You think the Kennedy Family was a "respectable family" but call George Bush a "Hitler". You think traits like honesty and character are "out-dated". You think that the minority should have the right to force their will upon the majority. You think 1 white and 20 blacks is "diversity". You somehow think taking guns away from honest citizens will reduce crime by violent offenders. You somehow think Saddam and Bin Laden are better for the world than President Bush. You believe people should do what you say, but not what you do. You preach "peace" and "love" and "non-violence" and "anti-gun laws" but appear in movies that glorify guns, explosives and twisting people's heads of with martial arts to win over the bad guys. You deride Bush for landing on a plane to boost moral and show his gratitude to the troops but you praise Clinton for using the military as a social program to force gays into the ranks and lowering moral. You think the "all Men are created equal" comments in the Declaration Of Independance means that they are actually equal in ability (as opposed to being given equal opportunity) and no one should make a choice about them based on their actual abilities to perform. You think a person's sexual preference, or race, and not their ability to perform, should be the deciding factor in who-gets-what job. You think demanding respect is more important that actually doing something to earn it. You think the "right of the people to peaceably assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances" means breaking into military installations during wartime, stopping commerce, and breaking nudity laws are what the founding fathers meant. You think Conservatives should be held to a different, and higher standard than you are willing to meet, yourself. You claim you are "offended" by Christianity, yet you still partake in the Christmas festivities and demand a paid holiday. You think SUVs are supportive of terrorists, but houses with 10 car garages are A-OK. You think "choice" applies only to abortion. You scream about our dependance on foreign oil, but refuse to allow us to tap into our own reserves. You think the word "unilateral" is defined as "without France, Germany, and Russia"... You call Conservative millionaires "greedy", while calling Liberal millionaires "hard working", "creative", or "clever". One day you label President Bush as just a "stupid hick from the sticks" and the next day call him an "evil genius". You believe that condoms and clean needles should be handed out at school, but Bibles must not be allowed. You believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't. You believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high. You refuse to wave or salute the American flag, because America has so many things wrong with it. You think since Clinton only "smoked and didn't inhale" pot, it's OK. You preach against racial/sexual bias, but turn around and endorse Affirmative Action. When you boycott a Conservative person and/or company you call it "Freedom of Choice"....but when Conservatives boycott, you call it "McCarthyism". You think Church/State means that religion should be banned from all aspects of public and private life. You begin every sentannce with "I (or we) demand"... You have ever used the expressions "that poor guy," or "he couldn?t help it" to describe a convicted murderer. You have an "I'm the victim" mentality and every day, milk it dry. You think Barbara Steisand really cares about the Iraqi children. You think Iraq was just a "War for Oil". You think Bin Laden is not really all that bad, and is just "mis-understood". You think evangelical is a dirty word. You think the New York Times is a "beacon of truth", but Fox News is just a book of lies. You think Maureen Dowd should get the Nobel Prize for Journalism. You complain that Fox News has a "slight Conservative edge", but say nothing about the far-to-the-Left Liberal bias of CNN, New York Times, BBC, etc. You think Sen. Joseph McCarthy was "evil" but the American Commies he tried to expose within the State Dept were "heroic". You think Jimmy Carter handled Iran just fine and dandy. You refer to President Bush a "Hitler" as your defense to any critisism on your stance/position. You think if a Conservative is under investigation, it should not matter whether or not the allegations are true/false, but should be totally based around the seriousness of the said allegations. You think Jayson Blair is an honest and legitimate journalist. You think that rights of gays, lesbians, drag queens (or kings) should be forcibly recognized, but rights of Christians/Jews should be denied. You believe that we can "spend our way" out of the deficit. No trees should be cut down, even if they're dead. The government should tax every last bit of your paycheck. You think that Saddam, Stalin, and Hitler were "noble" and in the same breath, you call President Bush "evil". You think morals and integrity are not relevant and should not stand in the way of personal gain. You keep calling it "Clinton's Army" and "Bush's economy". You poke fun at the "cookie cutter houses" in the suburbs, yet live in the city, in a giant brick building called an "apartment", no different from any other in the city. You would rather have a President who spend his Administration caving in to terrorist demands in a frenzy to please and appease them, rather than a President who is fighting them to make the world a safer place for all. And Finally..... You think Ralph Nader cares about consumers, Unions care about their members, the ACLU cares about civil liberties, the National Education Association cares about education, People for the American Way care about the American way, and Bill Clinton cares about anything other than Bill Clinton.
Posted by uhyw
at 5:48 PM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, August 10, 2005 5:49 PM EDT
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Orrin Hatch Blasts Chuck Schumer's 'Dumbass Questions'
(Left) Sen. Charles Schumer's questioning of Supreme Court nominee John Roberts was so hostile during Roberts' 2003 appellate court confirmation hearings that Sen. Orrin Hatch (Below Right) blasted his New York colleague for asking "dumbass questions."
In a audioclip of the exchange unearthed Wednesday by ABC Radio host Sean Hannity, the normally mild-mannered Utah Republican complained:
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Supreme Court Justices, post Sandra Day O'Connor 
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Now that we now that Joe Biden wants to be Commander In Chief, the GOP has decided to use the Senator’s words against him. This article includes dire predictions from the candidate covering the Iraqi elections and transfer of power.
RNC: Biden's Predictions All Wet
The Republican National Committee let loose against Democratic Senator Joe Biden after he attacked the administration on its progress in Iraq.
"Senator Biden's gloomy view of the significant progress made in Iraq should earn him the title of Pessimist in Chief, RNC Press Secretary Tracey Schmitt said. "While his pessimism is nothing new, it ignores that facts. Freedom is on the march in Iraq and Biden's flawed rhetoric is nothing more than political pandering in an effort to grab headlines."
The RNC outlined Sen. Biden's previous pessimistic predictions on the Iraqi elections, most of which turned out to be nonsense:
Sen. Joe Biden (D-Del.): "The Elections Are Going To Be Much Messier. We Are Left With A Bad Choice In Holding Elections And A Worse Choice Of Not Holding It." (CNN's "Late Edition," 1/9/05)
Biden: "And I Think There's Going To Be The Whole Question Of Whether Or Not The Sunnis Participate, Whether There's Any Legitimacy In The Process If They Don't, Et Cetera." (CNN's "Late Edition," 1/9/05)
Biden Said Of The Iraqi Elections: "It's Going To Be Ugly." (PBS' "Charlie Rose Show," 1/5/05)
Biden: "(Election) Success Is Still Possibility. But It Is Receding Rapidly. It's Being Made Much More Difficult." (ABC's "This Week," 12/5/04)
"(D)emocrat Joe Biden Of Delaware, Said Postponing The Election Without A Guarantee Of Sunni Participation Later On Would Just Add More Trouble To Iraq's Already Difficult Road." (NPR's "All Things Considered," 12/2/04)
"Biden Believes Iraqi Elections Scheduled For January Should Be Delayed To Stabilize The Country And Gain Wider Support For The Vote From Sunnis. The Situation Is Still Salvageable, He Said." (Sean O'Sullivan, "Biden Has New Hope For Peace In Mideast," The (Wilmington, Del.) News Journal, 12/2/04)
"Sunnis Must Still Be Involved Politically, Democratic Senator Joe Biden Said. 'They're Going To Have To See More Sunnis Brought Into The Constitution Writing If There's Going To Be Any Legitimacy At The End Of The Day, And I Think We'll See That.'" (Michael McDonough, "British And U.S. Officials Congratulate Iraqi Victors; Turkey Complains Results Skewed," The Associated Press, 2/13/05)
Sen. Biden's Pessimistic Predictions On The Transfer Of Sovereignty:
Sen. Biden Said Iraq Would Need A Referee After Ambassador Bremer Left Iraq. "(W)ho's going to be the referee when Bremer leaves?" (CBS' "The Early Show," 4/7/04)
Sen. Biden Said There Would Be "Absolute Chaos" From The Time Ambassador Bremer Departed Till The Iraqi Elections. "Does anyone think there's not going to be absolute chaos from June 30th until January 1st or 31st when we have general elections?" (CBS' "The Early Show," 4/7/04)
As the RNC notes, the administration has made significant progress in Iraq:
President Bush: "The World Saw Long Lines Of Iraqi Men And Women Voting In A Free And Fair Election For The First Time In Their Lives." (Nedra Pickler, "Bush Congratulates Iraqi Candidates In Final Election Results," The Associated Press, 2/14/05)
75 percent Of Iraqis Support The Government, Up 10 percent From Last Year. (Adriana Lins De Albuquerque, Michael O'Hanlon and Amy Unikewicz, Op-Ed, "The State Of Iraq: An Update" The New York Times, 6/3/05)
"At The End Of 2004...3,100 Schools Have Been Renovated, 364 Schools Are Currently Under Rehabilitation, 263 New Schools Are Under Construction And 38 New Schools Have Been Built." (Department Of Defense Website, "Iraq Year In Review 2004 Fact Sheet," http://www.defendamerica.mil http://www.defendamerica.mil/downloads/ MNFI-Year-in-Review_2004-Fact-Sheets.pdf, Accessed 6/2/05)
Over 100,000 More Iraqis Are Using The Internet Than Last Year. (Adriana Lins De Albuquerque, Michael O'Hanlon and Amy Unikewicz , Op-Ed, "The State Of Iraq: An Update" The New York Times, 6/3/05)
There Are More TV Stations Than Last Year And 20 More Independent Newspapers And Magazines. (Adriana Lins De Albuquerque, Michael O'Hanlon and Amy Unikewicz, Op-Ed, "The State Of Iraq: An Update" The New York Times, 6/3/05)
Over 50,000 More Trained Iraqi Security Forces. (Adriana Lins De Albuquerque, Michael O'Hanlon and Amy Unikewicz, Op-Ed, "The State Of Iraq: An Update" The New York Times, 6/3/05)
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