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Kick Assiest Blog
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Scientists warn of global warming -- ON MARS!
Mood:  surprised
Topic: Funny Stuff

The SUN Causes Global Warming???!!!

If only we had ratified Kyoto. Call Time Magazine, the NYTimes and the LA Times! Global warming is affecting Mars too!

Its gotta be the rovers, there's two of them up there and they've been operating for a lot longer than anyone thought.

Story also at:
Houston Chronicle ~ Mark Carreau ** Mars getting warmer, orbiter data suggests

This pair of images shows a dune as it appeared on July 17, 2002, (left) and as it appeared on April 27, 2005, (right). During this period, a couple of gullies formed on the dune slip face. It is critical to recognize that the 2002 image was obtained at a time of year when the incident sunlight was coming in from a lower angle, relative to the horizon, than in the 2005 image. If the gullies had been present in 2002, their appearance would be sharper and more pronounced than they are in the 2005 image. The gullies simply did not exist on July 17, 2002.

Orbiter's Long Life Helps Scientists Track Changes on Mars

(Additional images)

New gullies that did not exist in mid-2002 have appeared on a Martian sand dune.

That's just one of the surprising discoveries that have resulted from the extended life of NASA's Mars Global Surveyor, which this month began its ninth year in orbit around Mars. Boulders tumbling down a Martian slope left tracks that weren't there two years ago. New impact craters formed since the 1970s suggest changes to age-estimating models. And for three Mars summers in a row, deposits of frozen carbon dioxide near Mars' south pole have shrunk from the previous year's size, suggesting a climate change in progress.

"Our prime mission ended in early 2001, but many of the most important findings have come since then, and even bigger ones might lie ahead," said Tom Thorpe, project manager for Mars Global Surveyor at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory, Pasadena, Calif. The orbiter is healthy and may be able to continue studying Mars for five to 10 more years, he said.

Mars years are nearly twice as long as Earth years. The orbiter's longevity has enabled monitoring of year-to-year patterns on Mars, such as seasonal dust storms and changes in the polar caps. "Mars is an active planet, and over a range of timescales changes occur, even in the surface," said Dr. Michael Malin of Malin Space Science Systems, San Diego, principal investigator for the Mars Orbiter Camera on Mars Global Surveyor.

"To see new gullies and other changes in Mars surface features on a time span of a few years presents us with a more active, dynamic planet than many suspected before Mars Global Surveyor got there," said Michael Meyer, Mars Exploration Program chief scientist, NASA Headquarters, Washington.

Two gullies appear in an April 2005 image of a sand-dune slope where they did not exist in July 2002. The Mars Orbiter Camera team has found many sites on Mars with fresh-looking gullies, and checked back at more than 100 gullied sites for possible changes between imaging dates, but this is the first such find. Some gullies, on slopes of large sand dunes, might have formed when frozen carbon dioxide, trapped by windblown sand during winter, vaporized rapidly in spring, releasing gas that made the sand flow as a gully-carving fluid.

At another site, more than a dozen boulders left tracks when they rolled down a hill sometime between the taking of images in November 2003 and December 2004. It is possible that they were set in motion by strong wind or by a "marsquake," Malin said.

Some changes are slower than expected. Studies suggest new impact craters might appear at only about one-fifth the pace assumed previously, Malin said. That pace is important because crater counts are used to estimate the ages of Mars surfaces.

The camera has recorded seasonal patterns of clouds and dust within the atmosphere over the entire planet. In addition, other instruments on Mars Global Surveyor have provided information about atmospheric changes and year-to-year patterns on Mars as the mission has persisted. Daily mapping of dust abundance in Mars' atmosphere by the Thermal Emission Spectrometer has shown dust over large areas during three Mars southern hemisphere summers in a row. However, the extent and duration of dust storms varied from year to year.

Mars Global Surveyor was launched Nov. 7, 1996; entered orbit around Mars Sept. 12, 1997; and returned the first Mars data from its science instruments Sept. 15, 1997. Beyond its own investigations, the orbiter provides support for other Mars missions, such as landing-site evaluations, atmospheric monitoring, communication relay and imaging of hardware on the surface. JPL, a division of the California Institute of Technology in Pasadena, manages the mission for NASA's Science Mission Directorate, Washington. JPL's industrial partner is Lockheed Martin Space Systems, Denver, which built and operates the spacecraft.

For newly released images on the Internet, visit:
http://www.nasa.gov/vision/universe/solarsystem/mgs-092005-images.html and
http://www.msss.com/mars_images/moc/2005/09/20/.

For more information about NASA and agency programs on the Internet, visit:
http://www.nasa.gov/home

NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory News Release ~ Guy Webster / Dolores Beasley ** Orbiter's Long Life Helps Scientists Track Changes on Mars

Posted by uhyw at 10:46 PM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, September 21, 2005 11:17 PM EDT
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
The Judge Roberts Hearings, Summed Up in a Single Picture
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: Funny Stuff




Posted by uhyw at 1:19 AM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, September 20, 2005 1:32 AM EDT
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
DeLay: 'There is simply no fat left to cut in the federal budget'
Mood:  suave
Topic: Funny Stuff

DeLay declares 'victory' in war on budget fat

House Majority Leader Tom DeLay said yesterday that Republicans have done so well in cutting spending that he declared an "ongoing victory," and said there is simply no fat left to cut in the federal budget.

Mr. DeLay was defending Republicans' choice to borrow money and add to this year's expected $331 billion deficit to pay for Hurricane Katrina relief. Some Republicans have said Congress should make cuts in other areas, but Mr. DeLay said that doesn't seem possible.

"My answer to those that want to offset the spending is sure, bring me the offsets, I'll be glad to do it. But nobody has been able to come up with any yet," the Texas Republican told reporters at his weekly briefing.

Asked if that meant the government was running at peak efficiency, Mr. DeLay said, "Yes, after 11 years of Republican majority we've pared it down pretty good."

Congress has passed two hurricane relief bills totaling $62.3 billion, all of which will be added to the deficit.

Republican leaders have been under pressure from conservative members and outside watchdog groups to find ways to pay for the Katrina relief. Some Republicans wanted to offer an amendment, including cuts, to pay for hurricane spending but were denied the chance under procedural rules.

"This is hardly a well-oiled machine," said Rep. Jeff Flake, Arizona Republican. "There's a lot of fat to trim. ... I wonder if we've been serving in the same Congress."

American Conservative Union Chairman David A. Keene said federal spending already was "spiraling out of control" before Katrina, and conservatives are "increasingly losing faith in the president and the Republican leadership in Congress."

"Excluding military and homeland security, American taxpayers have witnessed the largest spending increase under any preceding president and Congress since the Great Depression," he said.

Mr. Keene said annual nonmilitary and non-homeland security spending increased $303 billion between fiscal year 2001 and 2005; the acknowledged federal debt increased more than $2 trillion since fiscal year 2000; and the 2003 Medicare prescription drug bill is estimated to increase the government's unfunded obligations by $16 trillion.

Tom Schatz, president of Citizens Against Government Waste (CAGW), said if Mr. DeLay wants to know where to cut, "there are plenty of places to reduce."

His group soon will release a list of $2 trillion in suggested spending cuts over the next five years, and he said Congress also could cut the estimated $20 billion to $25 billion in pet projects that make their way into must-pass spending bills each year.

CAGW and the Heritage Foundation also suggest rescinding the 6,000-plus earmarked projects in the recently passed highway bill.

But Mr. DeLay said those projects are "important infrastructure" and eliminating them could undermine the economy as Congress tries to offer hurricane relief.

"It is right to borrow to pay for it," he said. "But it is not right to attack the very economy that will pay for it."

Mr. Schatz, though, said the highway bill included projects such as flowers for the Ronald Reagan freeway in California, which he said aren't essential spending.

Mr. DeLay said the budget this year was pared down and 100 programs or offices were eliminated in this year's spending bills. "We have been doing that for 11 years," he said. He said it's an "ongoing process" that will be more complete after this year's budget process, which calls for cuts to Medicaid and other entitlement programs.

Rep. Patrick T. McHenry, North Carolina Republican, agreed that Republicans "have been more fiscally sound than the Democrats were in their decades in the House." He acknowledged that "we're still trying to improve," and noted Mr. DeLay is leading the fight to reform the budget process.

"We've had a good start, but many of us want to see the government be more fiscally sound and conservative in the future," Mr. McHenry said.

Washington Times ~ Amy Fagan and Stephen Dinan ** DeLay declares 'victory' in war on budget fat

Posted by uhyw at 4:31 PM EDT
Thursday, September 8, 2005
Huffington Post Emergency Bush Bash Blog Application
Mood:  special
Topic: Funny Stuff

A rare, funny blog of truth and sanity at the Huffington Post (of all places). I'm betting 25 yahoo bucks this guy won't make it through the year without getting kicked off the site by the "tolerant" libtard "free speech champs" if he keeps this up.

HUFFPO EMERGENCY BUSH BASH BLOG APPLICATION FOR THE VICTIMS OF ALL DISASTERS EVERYWHERE!
By Greg Gutfeld

HELLO EVERYONE!!!

Do you often find yourself fantasizing about becoming a Huffpo blogger? Do you love to read other blogs, digest their info, and then expel pre-chewed nut-bag assumptions into a concerned and earnest post? If so, you might be perfect for this blog!

So... how do you get the job?

Just tick the boxes!

SECTION ONE: WHO ARE YOU?

Are you famous?
Do you know someone famous?
have you ever brushed up against someone famous?
Was it Warren Beatty?
Did you think he'd be firmer?

Is your husband famous?
(check one of the following)
- Yes I am Rebecca Pidgeon.
- Yes I am Laurie David
- Yes, I am Shiva Rose
- No, but my wife is rich AND famous, I am Brad Hall
- Other lady of leisure:____________________

Where did you spend your summer vacation?
- French Riviera
- Camp Casey
- Deepak Chopra's Seducing the Spirit Retreat
- working as Sean Penn's personal photographer

Which of the following countries have you threatened to move to (check all that apply):
- France
- Canada
- Monaco has no taxes, right?

-Can you work the phrase "tipping point" into a sentence, without actually reading the book, "The Tipping Point," or even understanding what this tipping point thing is? Can you pretend to know something without knowing anything?

Do you have a black and white picture of yourself, with your chin resting comfortably on your fist? When you stare at this picture, do you get a warm fuzzy feeling, not unlike urinating down your leg?

have you ever written any poetry?
-it doesn’t rhyme, does it?
-are you a man?
-if so, when you tell people you're a poet, do they immediately realize they're going to have to pay for dinner?

Have you ever claimed that you are a fiscal Republican?
Just so you can spout lefty crap at parties?
You still go home alone, don't you?

Do you own a Che Guevara sweatshirt?
Did you wear it to a Dave Matthews concert last year?
Did you get beaten up by a group of pissed-off Cubans?

SECTION 2: DISASTER THINKING

-Do you believe that no one can voice support of the IRAQ war UNLESS they are willing to serve in it?
-YET when it came to the flood, you readily assumed an expertise in crisis management within hours of the disaster?
-And only so you could heave blame at Bush like a monkey flinging his own feces?

Do you always try to relate large-scale tragedies to your own life?
-Do you say things like, "Wow, I was just in New Orleans."
-"I had a connecting flight there."
-"I bought some beads in terminal 2."
-"I rented the Big Easy once. It was good."

-do you see "looting" as a function of poverty?
- brought on by Bush's policies?
-do you think you and a looter might get along over a beer?
-as you both agree over the point you just made about poverty?
-do you press charges after he stabs you?

Do you assume all poor people loot when faced with crisis?
-Even though most, if not all, poor people hate looters?
-Even though most, if not all, poor people HATE YOU MORE- for excusing looters?

do you really believe Bush doesn't care about poor, black people?
-But, then, who really seemed to RELISH the tragedy more?
-Bush?
-or The Huffington Post?

-When was the last time you used the word 'deconstruction?'
-Did it feel good?
-How will post-modernism help those in need right now on the Gulf Coast?
-Don't you think hicks who can do construction are more valuable to society than you?
-Does this shocking juxtaposition explain everything at the HuffPo?

Randall Robinson says people were eating corpses in New Orleans.
-is this an example of what Bush calls "soft bigotry of lowered expectations?"
-Do you think Randall's desire to demonize Bush exposed his own delusional fantasies?
-Do you think Randall's pants were on when he wrote that fantasy?

(NOTE:We are not implying that cannibalism is bad. Here at the Huffpo, we love ancient, spiritual cultures. And you can't get much more ancient or spiritual than the Anasazi tribe, and they used cannibalism in religious ceremonies as a method to get followers to pay tribute and build monuments. What these folks were doing was a religious, healing process. In a pot.)

Do you believe people are too afraid to discuss the "taboo" of race?
Yet you can discuss it for hours, insert it into any topic, from natural disasters to footwear?
Do you feel compelled to let blacks know immediately where you stand on the topic of race?
Do you feel compelled to tell blacks how much you admire Spike Jonze?
Do you realize the next day that you meant Spike Lee?

Is there anything racist about the fact that Oprah Winfrey talks black to black people, and then talks differently to white people?
-And what's up with Steadman, anyway?
-He's really taking care of himself!

SECTION THREE: YOUR BELIEFS!
When a crime is committed, do you blame the criminal?
Or do you find a root cause?
Do you try to find a root cause for everything?
How about when your girlfriend dumped you?
What do you think her root cause was?
Was it your obsession with root causes?
or just your small root?

A man wants to date his sister. Does this offend you?
-yes, it does. I'm fairly tolerant of many things, but not incest.
-No, not at all. Centuries from now we'll look back at this time with embarrassment - a time when we thought incest was "wrong." Healthy examples of this lifestyle abound: certain hill-tribes in Cambodia let siblings have sex, and the Indian Kukis are pretty much up for anything! And lets face it: Screwing your sibling guarantees a sex partner who knows you better than anyone. PLUS: NO PROM-NIGHT WORRIES ABOUT MEETING HER FATHER.

WARNING! Does any of this information, so far, cause your brain to absolutely disconnect and move on to another task? Quick: eat a banana or something!

MOVING ON:
If you had to kill one of the following, which would it be:
- your unborn baby
- a puppy or kitten
- a republican
- your assistant
- your Pilates instructor
- your private jet pilot (who has signed a non-disclosure agreement not to divulge you have a private jet)

do you think peace is a "process?"
do you think war is evil, no matter what?
do you think you'd have to be stupid to be in the military?
Do you think white soldiers are rednecks?
- and black soldiers are victims of limited opportunity brought on by a racist society?
Do you like to tell people you're a pacifist?
-and that you'd never fight under any circumstance?
-Mind if I stop by your house and take your plasma?
(TV and blood platelets)

Do you like conspiracies?
Does reading about them make you feel smart?
Does obvious truth make you uncomfortable?
When a conspiracy is exposed as a lie, do you think that's part of THE conspiracy?
Do you think people can read your thoughts?
Are you receiving radio transmissions from your dental fillings?
Are they telling you that you're Norman Mailer?
Are they correct?

Do you believe in "shadow" governments?
Can you do "shadow" puppets?

-Do you think conservatives are stiff, humorless and mean?
-have you ever sat through a Tim Robbins play?

-Do you hate authority?
-until you need a cop?
-do you try to have an opinion, even when you really have none?
-do you think googling replaces thinking?
-do you favor high drama over slow progress?
-do you like it when authority figures are "shown up?"
-do you cry for authority figures when you're "helpless?"
-have you ever self-published a book?
-out of your garage?
-are they blocking the dryer?

-do you understand the motivations and feelings of animals?
-because you own a dog?
-do you like to put hats on the dog?
-and take pictures of dog with hat on his head?

HUFFPO QUICK QUIZ!: Could you have predicted that the cause of a lifetime - making Cindy Sheehan the sympathetic icon of our times - could be so easily dropped once we found better dead bodies than Casey to use against the President?
NOW LET'S CONTINUE!

-Do you like to tell people how close you lived to ground zero?
-Even though you live in Florida?

Do you run a progressive "group" blog?
But it's just you, isn't it?
Do you post comments at www.davidcorn.com?
And hope david might respond?
When he doesn't, are you sad?
-Later, do you repeatedly stab the collage of pictures you made of him?

Are you on any advisory boards?
Do you "spearhead" things?
Are you on any advisory boards to "spearhead" things?
Have you ever co-chaired a task force?
Are you a founding member, a president, senior counsel, a visiting fellow, a lecturer and an author of 14 books?
Have you been a memorial lecturer, or earned a honorary degree?
Have you done all this without ever holding an actual job?

Are you devoted to stopping global warming?
Enough to start a "virtual march"?
Which means you can stay in your mansion that burns ungodly sums of fuel?

Do you believe we live in a toxic world?
Do you see poisons lurking everywhere?
Are you into detoxification?
Do you purify yourself?
Do you own an enema kit?
Does it have a travel case?
Is this travel case monogrammed?

-do you wear a baseball cap when you go to REM concerts?
-does it hide your bald spot?
-do you write for numerous alternative newsweeklies?
-Do you ignore the fact that they survive off escort ads?
-Which you swear you're never calling again.

Do you think we should all think globally?
Are you still living at home?

Are you an artist, author, performer and a visiting professor?
But basically you're famous for covering your genitals in syrup?
And nothing else.

Are you a children's advocate?
Do you have any kids of your own?
AND WHERE THE HELL IS ROSA?
(If she's late again, it's back across the river for her)

Are you a "meditation counsellor?"
Can you speak on spirituality and relationships?
But only for money?
Do you believe we all have souls?
What happened to yours?

Weren't you once Gary Hart?

Are you currently alive?

Do you still tell people you were once married to Jane Fonda?
Do people still care?
Do you consider yourself a "watchdog?"
Do you say you work "for the people?"
Do you think of yourself as a "conscience" for America?
Do you wonder why "No one listens to you anymore?"

Are you a consumer advocate for nonprofit, nonpartisan foundation?
Are you glad knit ties are back in fashion?

-Are you a frequent guest on talk shows?
-would you like to be?
-Do you practice crossing your legs when you're alone?

Do you serve on numerous governing boards, including: Rainforest Action Network, WITNESS, Bioneers, the New Apollo Project and the Social Venture Network?
-Do you do it for the free coffee mugs?

Is everything you work on "non-partisan?"
Are you dedicated to ensuring accountability in the executive branch of the federal government?
Until a Democrat gets into office?

Are you still owed money by Air America?
Is Al Franken not returning your calls?

Have you ever written a "one-woman" show?
and you're a man?
Are you into the "spoken word?"
But prefer to tell people you are a "multi-media artist?"
are these words meant to explain to mom and dad why there are only five other people in the audience?

Do you own ferrets?
Did you name them Noam and Chomsky?
Do you have dreadlocks?
And you're white?
Do you have a henna tattoo, a charity band around your wrist, and an eyebrow ring?
Do you celebrate "individuality" above all?
And you're pushing 40?

Did you ever host a show on PBS?
and NPR?
Have you ever worked on anything that turned a profit?

Are you into global justice?
Have you tried to unionise sweatshop workers in China?
Have you helped organize sex workers in Bangkok?
and you actually got three back to your hotel room for sixty bucks?

Did you ever work for a bi-annual feminist journal?
WHY?

Are you a Huffington Post commenter?
Have you seen how thin some of the bios are?
Have you ever wondered what you did wrong that you haven't been invited to blog?
Are you chomping at the bit to come after me -- again?
All right... go!

LOL, damn!

The Huffington Post ~ Greg Gutfeld ** Huffpo Emergency Bush Bash Blog Application for the Victims of All Disasters Everywhere!

Posted by uhyw at 9:27 PM EDT
Updated: Thursday, September 8, 2005 10:13 PM EDT
Wednesday, September 7, 2005
Just when you thought dems couldn't get any dirtier...
Mood:  caffeinated
Topic: Funny Stuff


Was this pic taken on a rainy day at "Camp Cindy Windy"??? ...or did the mainstream media gloss over fully publicising the Hurricane Katrina tour?

Posted by uhyw at 1:19 AM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, September 7, 2005 2:30 AM EDT
Monday, September 5, 2005
UN Peacekeeping Force
Mood:  suave
Topic: Funny Stuff


ROTF - LMMFAO Pretty much says it all.

Posted by uhyw at 4:52 PM EDT
Updated: Monday, September 5, 2005 4:59 PM EDT
Saturday, September 3, 2005
Libtard Personal Ad... Zombies Seeking Brains
Mood:  special
Topic: Funny Stuff




Posted by uhyw at 11:03 PM EDT
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Hillary's March for Women
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: Funny Stuff




Posted by uhyw at 5:39 AM EDT
Michael Moore Checks In at Fat Farm
Mood:  hungry
Topic: Funny Stuff

Michael Moore Checks In at Fat Farm

Maverick film-maker Michael Moore has enrolled on a crash course at a $3,800-a-week celebrity fat farm in a bid to loose weight. The Fahrenheit 9/11 director has booked into the Pritikin Longevity Center And Spa in Aventura, Florida, where he is learning to cook healthy meals and will undergo "life re-education", according to PageSix.com. Moore is reportedly aiming to loose 12 pounds during the first three weeks.

A few entries of his libtard diary is over at Iowahawk.


IMDB.com / World Entertainment News Network ** Michael Moore Checks In at Fat Farm

Posted by uhyw at 12:53 AM EDT
Updated: Thursday, August 25, 2005 2:47 AM EDT
Saturday, August 20, 2005
The Left's War Contract
Mood:  chatty
Topic: Funny Stuff

The Left's War Contract

To be antiwar can mean one of two things: you may be opposed to all war or you might just be opposed to a war in particular. A Democratic party fitting the first definition would never win another national election in this country again. Ever.

Thus many on the left who make up the base of the Democratic party have gone to great lengths to say they support the use of U.S. military force under appropriate circumstances (like, say, Afghanistan) and that their objections are confined to this president and the war in Iraq.

But if you take some of the arguments this group (which spans the "netroots" crowd at Daily Kos all the way to the New York Times op-ed page) has marshalled against President Bush and recast them in generic terms, you'll see they read like a list of "out clauses" tucked inside a "We Support the Use of U.S. Military Force" contract:

The Chickenhawk Clause: No administration official may be involved in planning or supporting a war effort unless they have served in the military. (This clause applies to members of the public as well).

The Shared Sacrifice Clause: Wars may not be conducted unless a vast majority of the public share in some sort of common sacrifice which will most likely take the form of increasing the tax burden on the public.

The Elite Sacrifice Clause: Wars may not be conducted unless 1) all military age children among the highest ranking civilian and military officials in the country are forced to serve and 2) a certain (but as yet undefined) percentage of combat deaths must come from soldiers with "privileged" backgrounds.

The Grieving Parent Clause: Mothers and fathers of soldiers killed in action are given "absolute" moral authority. Therefore wars may be fought only until the mother or father of a soldier killed in action objects to either the policy or the leadership of the administration.

The Presidential Vacation Clause: During the course of any conflict where U.S. soldiers are in harm's way, presidents are not allowed to take vacation but instead must remain at the White House "burning the midnight oil" to demonstrate military personnel are a priority.

The War Profiteering Clause: The Pentagon is allowed to hire private contractors to assist in military logistics and reconstruction projects provided that 1) no member of the administration has ever had any contact with the company and 2) the company is not allowed to make a profit.

Of course, one of the primary requirements for the left to support U.S. military force is winning the approval of the UN Security Council. Taken together these requirements would seem to make it almost impossible for the left to support U.S. military action under any circumstance. Or will all these rules not apply when Hillary or some other Democrat is sitting in the White House?

Real Clear Politics.com ~ Tom Bevan ** The Left's War Contract

Posted by uhyw at 12:01 AM EDT

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